My dining room table still has a lovely bouquet of tulips on it but I haven't heard from the guy that sent the flowers in days. Oddly enough, I've been sent flowers to my office twice. Both times I was thoroughly embarrassed, a little confused, and very flattered and both times marked the end of the relationship. Am I really THAT bad at receiving gifts?!! Sure, I went pretty nutty for a while after I received the flowers, balloons, and gigantic basket of diabetes but I think I was very careful to shield all of that insanity from the guy that sent it to me. I think it was just the generosity of the gift that freaked me out, plus the slight inappropriateness since I wasn't even sure if we were officially "in a relationship." Oh well. Life goes on. In a week or two we might be able to be friends. The dating thing wasn't working out so well anyway.
It's funny how a small detail or a scent can call up a memory at a totally unexpected time. I went to the symphony with my roommate last night. He had been excited about it for weeks since it was Beethoven's 9th. We got there, took our seats and I noticed there was one empty seat to my right. A few minutes later my roommate nudged me and said "your new neighbor is here" and pointed to a cute guy making his way down the aisle then he said "get me his number!" He was cute. About my height and build, cute hair, academic looking glasses, a neatly trimmed light brown beard, and a great smile. Then I realized he reminded me of someone and not just anyone... the one person I don't allow myself any contact with anymore, a guy that I hurt very deeply, a guy I was incredibly attracted to but had nothing in common with. He was cute, sweet, smart, and loaded... but not for me. We dated off and on for like 3 years and it would always start and end the same way. He would contact me and ask me on a date, I would be flattered and tell him I would like to get to know him better but didn't think dating was a good idea. We would go out and it would go well, he would ask a second time, it would go well and then he would get ahead of himself and do something to freak me out like plan our life together in Brooklyn or just generally get inappropriately handsy in the car or something and I would tell him to back off or slow down and he would ask me out again. I would decline and by doing so hurt him more than I realized. We went through that entire process three times. Anyway, all that came rushing back to me last night in the symphony. To make matters worse this dude had the same cologne. It was a little distracting and added a an unwanted air of melancholy to Ode to Joy.
Anywhosle... Despite the unexpected weirdness it was a great performance and I felt very privileged to be there and I'm still really excited about my trip to DC!!!
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