... and when it rains it pours! Or I guess I should say when it snows it blizzards... If the weather reports are true, by this time tomorrow we could have 8-12 inches of snow on the ground. But... you aren't here to read about the weather. ;-)
Things with the Mysterious Stranger got even more mysterious and strange for a a couple of days with the introduction of the Even More Mysterious Stranger (EMMS). Sometime last week I got an email from a guy on one of the dating sites where I have a profile. The email was simple enough and said something like: "you seem like a nice guy, would you like to have coffee sometime?" I sensed a lot of loneliness in his email and profile and there were no red flags so I emailed back to say yes. It was just coffee, no big deal. The second I sent the email I instantly regretted it. Am I seeing the MS? Are we dating? Am I allowed to have coffee with strange men? Ok... relax... no big deal. So, I went to the designated coffee place at the designated time. He came in, he had a cute Czech accent, was better looking than his pictures indicated, and we had our coffee. He seemed like a nice guy, just shy as hell and conversation was exceptionally difficult. Toward the end of the coffee I resorted to babbling incoherently as he listened politely since my previous interrogation approach wasn't working. At one point in the conversation he mentioned that in the last four years he's only met one other gay man in town. I asked him who that was since I assumed I would probably know him. Yeah... I new him... the only other guy in town he knew was the Mysterious Stranger and he indicated that they had dated at one point in the not so distant past. Curious... I should mention that from the second I hit reply to his email I had an odd feeling that there was some sort of unseen force behind all this. The second I got home I emailed the MS to tell him I met his friend/acquaintance/ex. Eventually I figured out that they had sort of dated and the EMMS had moved way too quickly and was just way too introverted for the MS.
I had coffee with the MS today for the *counting* 5th time. I hate to complain about keeping things in the coffee arena since whatever we have seems to work. It was a great coffee and great conversation... But geeze... we've been out 7 times without so much as a lingering brush of a hand. I realized tonight that I'm the hold up, not him. I'm the one that has made it clear that I'm trapped in a job and a town that I don't like and that I plan on escaping the second I'm able. I've also made no attempt at romance other than a peck on the cheek. Who wants to start a relationship with an emotionally distant person who plans on leaving anyway? Even one who is as rocking awesome as me! ;-) So, the solution... figure out what the hell I want and go for it. What's the worst that will happen? He's not interested and we stay friends and I know where I stand?
I was chatting with the Canadian the other day. (Yes, we are still in contact and things are going really well for him.) I was complaining about not knowing what is going on with the MS and what the nature of our relationship was. I was ranting about not knowing if we were "dating" and he gave me the best definition of dating that I've ever heard. It's not knowing. Just that simple. "Not knowing" is the part of any relationship that is called dating. We are getting to know each other in simple short periods of time. Yup, thats dating... and it's good.
I'm stuck here, so it's time I started making myself happy. I need to start seeing opportunities rather problems. I know the parts of my life that I'm not happy with so now I need to just DO something about them. Make changes. Be happy.
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