Retraction

I take back my previous blog post. I would delete it but I want to leave it as a testament for what was or maybe what wasn't or what will never be. I don't know. I have very little to say right now. So here are some snippets.

Said in a Czech accent I've grown to like, in total honesty I've grown to appreciate: "There is no spark."

There is no spark. It was true. I'm just angry for not admitting it to myself and allowing myself create this fantasy world.

Was I in love with the idea of a relationship more than him? Probably... I wasn't in love with him. But it had only been two months... and yet here I sit crying. What the fuck?

I feel blindsided.

Oddly enough, after "the talk" we had one of the best conversations we've ever had. Maybe it takes something like this to make me open up and be honest. At that point I had nothing to loose.

I appreciate his honesty. He was right. I just wish I could have been honest with myself sooner and seen it before things got to this point.

This sucks.

Back to square one.

Again.

I'll be ok tomorrow.