Except I don't know what I want... but I still want it...
So, in my last post I hinted at some job opportunities elsewhere. I can pretty much rule them out already. I doubt I even get an interview. Basically the job market sucks and if jobs even make it to the interview process without being canceled for lack of funds, then grossly over qualified people are in the hiring pool with you. Lame.
Work last week sucked. 45 people were laid off campus wide, including a friend at work. Many of the lay offs basically defied all logic and that causes everyone to wonder who is next and "is my job safe?" No, it's probably not... but there isn't much anyone can do if the firings are semi-arbitrary and you have nowhere to go in advance. It sort of turns going to work into a game of Russian roulette and that's pretty unsettling.
In other news... I've been helping a friend (the Czech) tile his bathroom. I'm moving in with him at the end of the month. I think it will work out nicely. After that... who knows. I don't have many options. I don't make enough to be able to afford a great apartment. I'm not getting a new job elsewhere. I don't have enough money saved to buy a house. I have a crazy dog. That eliminates all options other than finding a decent place that I hopefully don't hate and somehow convincing my new landlord that even though my dog is a frosted nut ball, she's not destructive or loud. That sucks. I hoped to move upward or outward or to somehow better my situation in any way. Instead... I get the same ol' thing in a different package. I just want something new. A house, a better paying job so I can eventually buy a house, a new setting, anything... but it seems I have to be content with slowly paying off old debts until I'm able to save more money each month and then eventually move up in the world. It's how this is normally done I guess... but I am tired of it. I just want some break that will let me better my situation. I'm so damn sick of just floating... I can't really even say that I'm "treading water" since that implies some action, I'm just floating. I hate to whine, I have a good job, I have great friends, and I have been making the most out of my time here by joining committees and volunteering and whatnot... but at a certain point you hope to see some sort of result for all your effort. I'm in the exact same situation I was in 2 years ago. Same job, no boyfriend, no real prospects, the same tired town, and I'll be homeless in August.
Damn! I didn't expect to whine so much in this post! I'll quit now. I'm employed and my job is safe for now. I'm not homeless yet and my friends won't let me be. I'll find a nice place. And if I am careful with my funds then I'll have money saved and some debts paid off by this time next year. It will all work out in the end!
Two songs I like today:
The Ting Tings - That's Not My Name
and
Three Doors Down - Let Me Be Myself
They are both about identity. I think I need to work on finding my own.
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