At the moment I’m sitting at my desk at work. It’s Friday morning but I was convinced it was Saturday when I woke up this morning and that’s never a fun thing to do. Since it’s summer and it’s Friday, not many people are here today. I considered taking the day off but decided it was best to keep as many vacation days banked up since they get paid out if you get fired and that would allow me some time to find a job. I don’t really think I’ll be fired but there have been so many people let go lately and that makes you feel pretty insecure. I’m sipping some horrible break room coffee and trying to strike the proper balance of moving around and staying still since pretty much my entire body hurts from yoga practice yesterday. It was a great work out and as gross as it sounds, I don’t think I’ve ever sweat so much in my entire life! But now… arms, legs, core… all kind of sore and getting worse as the day progresses. It’s a good kind of pain though. It’s the pain of growth and I like that.
So, what’s new with me – you might ask. I guess not much. I’m getting ready to start packing this weekend. I hope to get a lot taken care of. I’m a little nervous about moving since I am essentially homeless. I have a great friend I’m going to stay with for a month, but after that I have no plans. I’m sure I’ll find something but I would feel a lot better if I had some idea of where I’ll be living in August. In spite of all the cuts on campus the remaining employees all got raises. I hate to complain… but I would have gladly given up my raise if it meant getting to keep even one of the 45 people we lost. But I guess the world just doesn’t work that way so I’m making like $100 more a month which I guess means I can afford to rent a nicer place, provided somewhere decent that allows dogs opens up in the next month.
I spent two days this week in training seminars to be a consultant for the state to help make schools safer for all students. It had a specific focus on keeping LGBT students safe but the “ism” could easily be change for anyone. It was incredibly rewarding and it sort of sparked something in me. I think this is what I want to do. I want to help people. I am seriously considering going back to school to get a counseling degree. Unfortunately, the program works on a schedule and the next section doesn't start until the Fall of 2011. I might look into alternatives. It was just very nice to actually feel happy about something vaguely work related and to feel like that work might actually make a difference some day.
Not much to report in the love life department. For some reason all the skeletons in my closet tend to trot out and dance around every now and then. The nice Jewish guy I met two years ago keeps persisting in spite of the fact that I’ve inadvertently broken his heart twice already. He’s sweet but we just have no middle ground to stand on and I would like to be his friend but all he wants is a husband. *Whoa! Slow it down dude!* I’ve seen him twice in the last 3 weeks. The first time was nice. We were buddies, we had pizza and hiked around and it was just good. The second time he got pretty handsy in the car and basically ruined it for me. I’m not sure if I want to see him again under any circumstance. My Canadian author published his second novel about a month or two ago and I just got around to reading it. It’s strange to read a book and to have actually been present for many of the influences that made it into the book. I see aspects of myself in some of the characters, I see specific events I was party to mirrored in the story line, and there was an entire paragraph about sleeping and cuddling with someone that you couldn’t be with physically that was basically ripped out of our trip to San Francisco together. It’s bizarre but cool and it’s almost like spending time with him in a strange way. I laughed so hard at one point that I upset my dog, who had previously been sleeping at my feet. I “met” someone in a class relatively recently. The odd thing is that I’ve known him for 2-3 years but we’ve never really hung out. We've both sort of been aware of each other for quite some time and even have a few mutual friends. We chat before and after class and the chatter is starting to progress to what might be considered flirting. For some reason I have absolutely no idea how get from acquaintance to the next step or even what that next step should be. I don’t know a lot about him but there are no red flags, he’s nice, we clearly have at least one shared interest, and well… he’s here. These days “here” counts for a lot since it seems that’s where I’m at. I guess I’ll just not worry about it and let things unfold naturally. That’s probably always good advice for me.
I love the Black Eyed Peas. I have no idea if this song even has any sort of vague relevance to this post but I’m really digging the new cd and it seems I have started a theme of including some sort of song at the end of each blog.
Black Eyed Peas – I’ve Gotta Feeling
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