You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed.
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"Please--tame me!" he said.
"I want to, very much," the little prince replied. "But I have not much time. I have friends to discover, and a great many things to understand."
"One only understands the things that one tames," said the fox. "Men have no more time to understand anything. They buy things all ready made at the shops. But there is no shop anywhere where one can buy friendship, and so men have no friends any more. If you want a friend, tame me . . ."
"What must I do, to tame you?" asked the little prince.
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I finished reading a friend's book last night. When I say a "friend's book" I don't mean a book I borrow from a friend but an actual novel written by a friend. It's his second. The first was pretty good, not great, not bad. This one was really good! Quite possibly one of the most enjoyable reads I've had in a while. It was a little surreal reading it though. I've known him for a little over a year and we write to each other fairly regularly. I like to think in a perfect world where time and distance didn't matter, we would be together. But we aren't. So reading his book was almost like spending time with him. I saw elements of myself in it, but I probably just read too much into the storyline. No matter what, it was a great book and I recommend it to anyone! A Flash of Hex - http://www.amazon.com/Flash-Hex-Jes-Battis/dp/0441017231/ref=ntt_at_ep_dpi_1
At the same time I was reading this book I was also writing an article for an anthology the same friend is publishing about queer grad students. I was flattered that he asked me to write something but I was at a total loss as to what I had to say on the subject. Sure, I am gay and sure I went to grad school... but for me there was very little overlap of the two. The two years that I was actually in the program were fairly pivotal years in my coming out process but it was sort of like he was asking me to do something but asking in a different language. It was a simple request, but not something I fully understood. So, yesterday I sat down I and vomited out 18 pages worth of "something." I have no idea what he was wanting or if that was what he wanted, but I sent it to him and I'm waiting for some comments and suggestions.
While writing the article I found myself reliving the relationships I had while in grad school and even though it was just a couple years ago... it feels like so much longer. There were several short meaningless relationships and one long meaningful relationship. I found myself describing my first sexual experience and what a let down it was and then my first "real" boyfriend and how being with him was everything I had ever hoped for and then how I was left crushed and cautious after. I say all of these things without judgment since it all worked out in the end and everything that happened should have happened. I have no real regrets.
But then I found myself comparing those events and my life in general to the lives of the characters in the book I was reading. I'm a huge narcissist so I'm convinced one of the characters is loosely based on me and a second character is vaguely inspired by the relationship I had with the author. Who knows if any of that is true... but in my head the connection was clear so I ran with it while reading. I fell in love with those characters. I'm not sure exactly what that says about me... narcissist much? I guess the point is that I've been trying to make something out of nothing. All the guys I've dated in the last few years have been all wrong and I've known it but I hoped I could make it work anyway. In the end I just want someone to tame me. I want someone to take the time to get to know me and for our lives to overlap. What's the point of being a rose if you're just one of thousands of nameless roses or being a fox if you are just some random fox passing in the distance?
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So the little prince tamed the fox. And when the hour of his departure drew near--
"Ah," said the fox, "I shall cry."
"It is your own fault," said the little prince. "I never wished you any sort of harm; but you wanted me to tame you . . ."
"Yes, that is so," said the fox.
"But now you are going to cry!" said the little prince.
"Yes, that is so," said the fox.
"Then it has done you no good at all!"
"It has done me good," said the fox, "because of the color of the wheat fields." And then he added:
"Go and look again at the roses. You will understand now that yours is unique in all the world. Then come back to say goodbye to me, and I will make you a present of a secret."
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