I hate that my blog makes me look like an emotional 13 year old girl with nothing but boy problems but this seems to be the home for this topic so... there you have it.
I went out tonight with my most recent love interest. I've missed hanging out with him for the last few weeks so I just went out and told him that I've missed spending time with him and asked if we could have a beer tonight. He said yes, we had a beer... of course he brought a friend and I showed up alone. More of his friends showed up throughout the night and that was all fine. I finally got to the point where I felt like I had enough to drink and I was tired and ready to go home. He saw that and felt the same way so we left but then parted outside of the bar. I left feeling weird and unresolved and just generally unhappy about the situation. I got home and my phone rang. It was him. He wanted to tell me that he's been dating other people and that specifically he's been on a couple dates with the same guy that broke my roommate's heart and essentially turned him into a slutty mess. He hoped that we could still hang out and be friends and just wanted to be honest with me. I was honest with him and told him how we met since he didn't even know how long I've been waiting for a chance to date him (roughly a year). In the end I think we just made things harder on each other. We hung up and I just collapsed. I started crying like I haven't cried in ages. I felt so rejected and unwanted. It made things worse since it's been at least a couple of years since I've WANTED to date ANYONE and then I found someone that met my insane requirements and he rejected me. That wasn't supposed to happen.
I'm just so tired of waiting for things.
To let loose,
To let free,
To breath in,
To breath out,
Peace Out.
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