I'm starting to think I took on way too much this semester. I'm taking 5 credits but it's really closer to 9 credits worth of work - which is a full time grad student. I'm working full time and actually doing work that needs to be done in a timely fashion. I'm working on a major exhibit with the associate director and that's going to be time consuming. I am barely keeping up with my homework. I am keeping up... but it's close. Narf... I can haz May?
Things are still going well with Utah. He's been really busy too so we haven't spoken much but he's planning on coming for my birthday in a week and a half. I'm actually kind of excited about turning 30. I'm having a big fun party. I need a pleasant distraction for a little while.
In other news, I just ordered an iPhone. I'm pretty excited about it! It should be here on or right after my birthday. This will also mean I'll finally be off of my parents contract so I will be 100% independent from them. They don't care. It just seems like at 30 I shouldn't need to depend on them for this sort of thing. Plus I think they are pretty stressed about money as it is...
My dad is back at the Mayo Clinic. He had surgery to remove a small tumor from his kidney a few months ago and the incision is not healing. They installed a second drain tube so that it can heal up. (I have no idea what it means to install a drain tube, but it sounds scary.) They are giving him 3 weeks to start healing and if he doesn't... they are going to have to take the kidney. That's pretty damn scary. He's diabetic, over weight, smokes, and is generally in poor health. They won't put him on a donor list unless he's on dialisis and healthier. This means if he had to get a kidney transplant it would have to come from a relative - enter his two sons. I don't want to even think about the prospect of being asked for a kidney. My dad has to go back to work by mid April or he'll lose his job. My poor mom is beside herself since they can't afford their house on just her salary. I wish I could be there when they get home on Monday so that I could at least help out around the house for a while... but I'm insanely busy and can't get away until May.
I'm sure it will all work out. It's just scary and I don't deal with this sort of thing well. The last time around I didn't tell anyone. And apparently I didn't even explain to Utah what was going on with my dad until a couple days ago. I didn't realize that I sometimes withdraw and keep things to myself when I don't want to deal with them. I guess I shouldn't be surprised... I didn't even admit to myself that I'm gay until I was in my 20's.
To let loose.
To let free.
To breathe in.
To breathe out.
Peace out.
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