I loved DLST this morning when my body thought I got to sleep in. Last night when the sun was setting at like 5, I hated life. I forgot what that does to me. From now until the end of DLST I’m going to have this horrible sense of dread every time the sun sets. I have no idea why. It’s happened for years. I think I have a little bit of seasonal affective disorder. I’m ok the rest of the day, it’s just sunset that freaks me out. It’s weird and I hate it but it happens and I deal with it.
What’s new? Hmm… what isn’t? Last post I talked about an unexpected first date. Well, that crapped out pretty quickly. He got back with his ex (also my ex – long story) and I found out through facebook. It went a lot like this: I had been painting the living room all day (it looks amazing, btw) and my phone rang. It’s my bff. She was on facebook and wanted to know if there was anything I wanted to tell her. Um… no… Because the guy I had gone out with had inexplicably gone from single to “in a relationship” on the night that we were supposed to see a movie together. The movie didn’t happen and instead he got back with his crazy ex. Good luck dudes… good luck. To be fair, his ex is a lot less crazy than he once was and I honestly am happy for them. It wasn’t going to work for me. I just wasn’t attracted to him. Instead I gained two friends. Plus the friend that called me was relieved that I hadn’t totally lost my mind and jumped into a relationship after only 2 semi-dates.
So, I’ve come to the conclusion that I bitch about being single a lot but I seem to always have someone on the horizon. Even though this relationship crapped out before it even started, I have a couple other guys to be excited about. A guy emailed me last week through a gay dating site. It was a really sweet email so we met up on Friday for a beer. It was a mix of good and bad. Strike one – he invited me to a bar he wasn’t even at. I went there thinking he would be there any minute so I ordered a drink and waited. And then I was THAT guy, the one in the crowded bar drinking alone and obsessively checking his phone. 30-40 minutes later he said he was on his way but had to walk. I decided to leave and meet him half way so we could talk on the way there at least since it’s impossible to have a real conversation in a bar. We met and he was a LOT cuter than I expected. *cha ching!* He was sweet and seemed very thoughtful. But then… Strike two – we got to the bar, chatted for like 4 minutes and then like 10 people he knew came in and he started doing shots with them. But then a bunch of my friends showed up so I hung out with them so it was ok. We didn’t talk much or spend much time together and he might have hit on some dude in front of me which could have been a big strike three except I might have been hitting on another dude in front of him so he still gets one strike since half of strike two and half of strike three were canceled out by my doing the exact same things. (It was complicated.)
The other dude I was hanging out with and possible flirting with at the bar was a guy I have known forever. I think I wrote about him once before. We do yoga together and I’ve known him for years but never really thought about him as dating potential. He is actually a great match for me. I’m currently working on geting up the courage to ask him out. Except with the addition of the random cute dude… I have no idea what I want. Part of me says I wouldn’t put him on hold to see what happens with the new guy if I was really into him. I’m not sure if I’m just weighing my options or if I’m just not into him.
The next night was Halloween and we had a party. The snacks were perfect, the decorations were fun, and the punch was colorful, fruity and strong. We had all the makings of a great party. Then the first wave of guests showed up – and the party died. Someone actually fell asleep. To be fair the first wave was made almost exclusively of socially awkward people. After that the party just couldn’t take off and get any better. Sad. But… yoga guy was there and stayed almost the entire night, despite the fact that the party sucked. Major points for him. Cute random dude didn’t show up. The party ended when my roommate’s fun friends finally made it back – just in time for all the other guests to leave and then they had a random dance party in the living room. At that point I was in no mood to dance. I have no idea why. I just couldn’t. They looked like they were having so much fun and I love to dance but I just couldn’t. Instead I went to my room with the dog and was a huge party pooper. I don’t understand why I can and will drive 2 hours south just to go dancing but don’t feel comfortable doing the same thing in my own living room.
My doggy is doing well. She was good at the party other than the first hour where I made her stay outside. After I quit stressing and just let her in, she was great.
Work is… the same. The all staff meeting was canceled today. I was pleased.
Things are mostly good with the roommate. I think we just need a bit of a break. He’s going home for 2-3 weeks in December so that will be good.
Ok, that’s all I can think of for now.
*Preview of coming attractions*
A blog explaining why I should not be living here – complete with statistics and charts.
