The Flowers Outlasted the Guy

My dining room table still has a lovely bouquet of tulips on it but I haven't heard from the guy that sent the flowers in days. Oddly enough, I've been sent flowers to my office twice. Both times I was thoroughly embarrassed, a little confused, and very flattered and both times marked the end of the relationship. Am I really THAT bad at receiving gifts?!! Sure, I went pretty nutty for a while after I received the flowers, balloons, and gigantic basket of diabetes but I think I was very careful to shield all of that insanity from the guy that sent it to me. I think it was just the generosity of the gift that freaked me out, plus the slight inappropriateness since I wasn't even sure if we were officially "in a relationship." Oh well. Life goes on. In a week or two we might be able to be friends. The dating thing wasn't working out so well anyway.

It's funny how a small detail or a scent can call up a memory at a totally unexpected time. I went to the symphony with my roommate last night. He had been excited about it for weeks since it was Beethoven's 9th. We got there, took our seats and I noticed there was one empty seat to my right. A few minutes later my roommate nudged me and said "your new neighbor is here" and pointed to a cute guy making his way down the aisle then he said "get me his number!" He was cute. About my height and build, cute hair, academic looking glasses, a neatly trimmed light brown beard, and a great smile. Then I realized he reminded me of someone and not just anyone... the one person I don't allow myself any contact with anymore, a guy that I hurt very deeply, a guy I was incredibly attracted to but had nothing in common with. He was cute, sweet, smart, and loaded... but not for me. We dated off and on for like 3 years and it would always start and end the same way. He would contact me and ask me on a date, I would be flattered and tell him I would like to get to know him better but didn't think dating was a good idea. We would go out and it would go well, he would ask a second time, it would go well and then he would get ahead of himself and do something to freak me out like plan our life together in Brooklyn or just generally get inappropriately handsy in the car or something and I would tell him to back off or slow down and he would ask me out again. I would decline and by doing so hurt him more than I realized. We went through that entire process three times. Anyway, all that came rushing back to me last night in the symphony. To make matters worse this dude had the same cologne. It was a little distracting and added a an unwanted air of melancholy to Ode to Joy.

Anywhosle... Despite the unexpected weirdness it was a great performance and I felt very privileged to be there and I'm still really excited about my trip to DC!!!

Bragging!

A few weeks ago I submitted an application to attend the GLSEN Safe Schools Advocacy Summit in Washington DC. There is a pretty intense interview process to get to attend since they can only send 18 students and 20 adults and if you get picked they pay to fly you there, put you up in a hotel, feed you and you attend a 4 day summit. So, that's less than 40 people nation wide that get picked. I figured I might get as far as a phone interview but applied anyway. I knew the phone interviews were going on earlier this week and my phone never rang so I assumed I wasn't picked but then I got an email from GLSEN last night congratulating me! I was picked! I'm in! I'm going to DC for 4 days to attend a Safe Schools Summit! YAY!!! I filled out and turned in the paperwork this morning and they will be making travel arrangements for me and my tickets will arrive in the next week or so! The conference is about 3 weeks away. It's going to go fast! Neat!

The Five Stages of Giant Gift Basket Grief

Denial
“Maybe it’s from my mom? Maybe they made a mistake?”
Anger
“Why would he spend so much, doesn’t he know how much pressure this puts on me?!”
Bargaining
“Maybe I can explain that this makes me really uncomfortable and split it with him or just flat out give it back.”
Depression
“I’ll just leave it here and work in my other office.” “Uhg, I need a nap.”
Acceptance
“Hey, look snacks! I love snacks! What an awesome gift!”



Why do I have to turn one of the sweetest things anyone has ever done for me into a big scary thing? Sure, it was a bit extravagant... but that's also what makes it sweet. New plan: Stop being such a crazy bitch and just accept this generous gift with a little grace and dignity. Yay for flowers, balloons, and a HUGE basket of goodies!

I need a vacation from my life

I turn 29 tomorrow. I have an odd impulse to get my right nipple pierced. I don’t know why. I’m only sort of kidding. And yes, this entire post is going to be every bit as random as the previous 4 sentences. It’s snowing and all I want to do is go back home and go to bed. Or better yet, go home and finally watch season four of Doctor Who. I might actually do that. Work has been kind of fun lately. I’m working on a collection of old sci-fi/ horror/ monster movie photos. Actually, it’s a LOT more than photos but I’m working on the photo section right now. The collection also has a Tribble in it, which I have discovered I take it as a personal insult if someone doesn’t know what that is. I was talking to my mom on the phone the other day and she was complaining about work and all the drama and how she was afraid the business would be sold and my biggest work concern was that I couldn’t find the King Kong folder, which I found the next day. So, I guess no complaints in that department today. I have yet again made plans to finish my masters degree, this time in a new department with a new emphasis. I had a meeting yesterday to see how many classes it would take to be done and the magic number was three. I’ll take the first one this summer. It’s a field course in historic preservation. I’ll have to take a week off from work but that’s what vacation is for, sorta. I’m kind of seeing someone. I wouldn’t say we are dating but we are going on dates. Or at least we were. I think we might have skipped the entire dating part and gone directly to the boring-been-married-for-40-years-no-longer-having-fun part. The last time I saw him we watched like 5 hours of reality tv, cuddled on the couch, argued about who was hungry and who wasn’t and then ultimately skipped dinner for no apparent reason, didn’t fool around even– at all, and then I got bored and drove home in a blizzard. So needless to say, it was a pretty romantic valentine’s weekend between that and spending 5 hours on Sunday helping set up for and then attending a funeral. What else… The doggies are pretty happy. The little one is taking classes and the big one is a total traitor. For some reason my dog likes my roommate better and my roommate’s dog likes me better. Nobody is really sure why. Poop. I was actually going to leave work and watch Doctor Who in bed at home for the rest of the day but just remembered that I’m apparently waiting on a flower delivery at work. The dude I’m seeing is a sweet heart despite his inherent dullness and is “surprising” me with “something” at work today. I’m guessing flowers. If it’s something like a singing telegram I’m calling him to break up before the song is done. This was after he harassed me for an hour through email and text messages (half of which were sent before I even got to work) to get my work address. For some reason it really bothers me that he didn’t just think to go to my work website and get the delivery address. Having good problem solving skills is sexy to me, apparently. Anywho… I guess I’ve rambled long enough and since I’m stuck here anyway I better get some work done. Geeze, I’m such a bitch. Thanks for the flowers, now quit bothering me.

Resplendent

Isn't that just about the most delicious word ever?! Resplendent... yum!

I went to bed last night feeling great about things. I have no idea why. I was just happy. I still am happy. For some reason I feel like something good is coming. I have no idea what, just something good. If feels like spring, except it has nothing to do with the weather if that makes any sense at all.

I am continuing to see my new gentleman friend. We had a very nice date last Friday and we will have another one tomorrow morning. I still have no idea what to think of this dude but I find myself actually wanting to spend time with him so that's kind of a big deal for me. The thought of having a boyfriend on Valentines Day sort of nauseates me, but I'm not sure why. I'm still not using the "boyfriend" word yet, by the way. We do seem to be going in that direction though... we've been "seeing" each other for about a month. This weekend I'm going puppy shopping with him and having sushi. Next weekend we're going to a club to go dancing!

The doggies are still insane. My dog is a traitor lately. When my roommate is gone she's a total mess and just waits by the door longing for him to return. She does the same for me, but I'm selfish and only want her to miss me. My roommate is training his dog. She's doing alright. She's nuts, but small and cute so she gets away with it.

What else... I paid off a credit card! I was so excited that I called to tell my mom. Just 3 left to go. *gulp* I haven't used them in years, this is all debt I racked up while I was unemployed between under grad and grad school. If I stick to my "plan" I should have everything paid off in 18-20 months. That includes my car. The idea of not having credit card and a car payment is awesome. I am so into the idea of paying off stuff that I even spent 3/4 of my tax return on it. Being an adult is lame.

Not much else to report I guess. It's Friday afternoon and I'm really full from lunch and just want a nap. I'm not actually working, maybe I'll go home early. I'm also jonesing for a pepsi. I wonder if I have some change around to buy one...