(Posted without reading or editing)
It’s been so long since my last blog. I just haven’t felt like writing for some reason. Maybe I’ve just outgrown it? I dunno.
Wow, I just skimmed my last few blogs. When did I turn into a 13 year old girl? “Dear diary, I met a boy and he’s like totally neat… yadda yadda yadda.” It actually took me a second to even remember what guys I’m referring to in my last blog. Needless to say they are no longer in the picture. And of course there is a new one and of course I like him and of course I could describe him as “not my type” but “interesting” and “I’m enjoying getting to know him” and it’s all true but it’s always true. I ran across a series of emails from last August, less than a year ago and I had no recollection of who the guy was that I was corresponding with. There are several emails and it seems we met on some online dating site and he was going to move to town and we flirted and they are cute emails but it’s like they are from someone else’s life. I have no memory of who they were written to. I’m slowly coming to the realization that I ALWAYS have some guy I’m interested in and I’m in the middle of some disconnected courting phase that invariably ends with a whimper. Is it just that I’m very selective? Or is it that on some level I don’t want a real relationship and I just want to flirt with some anonymous pen pal? It really puts my current love interest into perspective. I hesitate to say anything about him now because I feel like it would just be a regurgitation of everything I’ve ever said about any guy. I will say this one thing though, things are simple with him. We’ve been out three times and it’s not been awkward and they have clearly been dates and we have been open about everything. It is unusual for me to like someone, have him like me back, and then to spend time together knowing that. That should not be unusual.
Work is the same. I very nearly applied for a job in San Francisco a couple weeks ago. It would have been a really cool job but the start date was 3 weeks after the posting date and as fluid as I am, I still couldn’t have possibly moved my entire life to California in less than a month. Plus, I’m broke. I’ve been paying off my credit cards, car, and student loans fairly aggressively so that at some point in like a year or two I can be reasonably debt free and then be truly fluid.
Which brings me to my current living situation. I love ling in this little house and I really like the guy I’m renting a room from – but only about 80 – 90% of the time. There are the typical privacy issues that come with having any roommate but in addition to that are the little odd things. He is a bit OCD about vacuuming the house. We each have a dog so dog hair is a fact of life but we also have hard wood floors so the hair mostly collects in the corners and under furniture. I like to be tidy, but he vacuums at least 3 times a week and gets upset that I don’t do the same. He spent literally 45 minutes vacuuming the living room and hall this weekend. No exaggeration. In that time I cleaned the entire bathroom, vacuumed my room, did a load of laundry and tidied up my room. At a certain point clean is clean and it’s not getting any cleaner. It’s good for me to have to keep things tidy but sometimes he seems resentful that I don’t help him in his OCD cleaning extravaganzas. I also have a hard time stomaching his friends. I like them just fine… BUT he has them over 1-3 times a week and that’s fine except they never show up on time. An hour late is not unusual. He will say dinner is at 6, they will say they will be there at 7, and they finally show up at 8. It’s also not unusual for them to show up at 10 at night. Then they stay for a minimum of 4 hours regardless of when they get there. They are a bit bracing and since I’m the only American and only non scientist in the house I find myself feeling sort of left out and insulted. Plus my roommate gets this really infuriating “houseboy” mentality when they are around and occasionally makes me feel obligated to do the dishes or something and that’s when the irrational resentment that I don’t make him pancakes in the morning or vacuum for 2 hours a week comes out. I generally end up pissed off after these lovely little dinner parties. But like I said, the majority of the time I love living there. Plus… I have nowhere else to go. Finding a rental that accepts a large dog is almost impossible and I’m far from being able or willing to buy a house right now.
In other news: I’ve been busy with planning symposiums and sponsoring a student group and with church stuff. It still freaks me out a little that I belong to a church. It’s a really super amazingly cool church but it’s still odd for me.
Well, I don’t feel like I’ve said anything interesting in this blog but I guess it felt good to write it.
