Narf...

I don't remember being this tired for so long ever before in my life. I have no idea why I'm even tired. I've been getting enough sleep but I wake up in the morning just exhausted. I'm reasonably sure it's just stress. I feel like I have more on my plate than I'm able to deal with and that's a heavy feeling. Realistically, I just need to deal with one thing at a time. This week (before the end of the day tomorrow) I need to finish an article review, read and review a second article, finish my presentation for my job interview in Flagstaff, and pack. Then it's off to Arizona for a few days. I'll get there a day early so I should be able to just relax and unwind in the hotel room and polish my presentation. Sunday night the interview process starts with dinner with the head of special collections and the dean of the library. That shouldn't be so bad. Then the process starts at 8:30 the next day with a tour of the library followed by a full day of meetings and interviews capped off by a presentation and then a tour of campus and then I'm off the hook at 5:00. I'll get up early the next morning and fly home. I should be back in town by early/mid afternoon. That will give me part of Tuesday and some of Wednesday to catch up on some work, go to class, pack again, and then make the 6 hour drive to Salt Lake City. I'm torn on this trip. It sounds really relaxing and fun and I'm sure I'll have a great time... but I don't have 5 days to dink around. When I get home I'm going to have to hit the ground running. I will have roughly 4 weeks to finish and present my thesis, complete an entire internship, finish my other two classes, and potentially pack all my shit and move my life to Arizona.

Part of me hopes they don't offer me this job. But part of me is a huge coward too. Change is scary but I can't stay where I'm at forever. I've been in an entry level job for almost four years making so little that the only place I can afford to live is a rented room owned by an eccentric Czech. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE where I live but it's temporary. My stuff is 80% in boxes and some day I'm going to need to grow up and get my own place again.

I guess I need to just stop thinking ahead and live for today. I don't need to finish the entire semester today. Today all I need to do is finish a powerpoint presentation, add a page and a half to a review, and read a 20 page article. No big deal. Tomorrow all I have to do is pack a bag and write a 3 page review. Also no big deal. The day after I have to travel to Flagstaff on someone else's dollar and then hang out in a hotel. Not so bad.

I realize this blog post isn't that interesting. It's basically my way of calming myself down and screaming into the dark.

So, new tune: Yay, I was invited for a job interview at a cool place and I'm getting a free trip to my alma mater! Yay, I made the cut from 200+ people to 2-3 people! Yay, I get to go to Salt Lake City and spend a few days with my amazing boyfriend and go to a Holi Festival (something I've wanted to do for years)! Yay! Fun times! No need to think about what comes after since I'll be caught up before I go and I'll deal with the rest when I get back.

Wow, that actually worked and I feel better...

To let loose,
to let free,
to breathe in,
to breathe out.
Peace out.